The Burden of Abundance & Our Individual Capacity

Fall 2024:

Capacity is a funny thing.  When speaking of volume in a scientific/mathematical sense it's actually quite easy to understand.  We have tangible models and finite definitions of measurements in order to quantify capacity of any given vessel. A pint jar holds a pint (to the tippy top), a quart jar holds a quart, a half pint holds... well, just that.  When these vessels are asked to hold more than their capacity we can see from experience that they overflow.  Contents that we intend to fill these jars with will spill out onto the counter no matter how much we try to force the excess to fit.   The glass walls simply will not give way to our enthusiasm no matter how badly we want them to.  What's funny about this is we don't really expect the jar to heed our wants.  It's a superficial, fleeting wish that we know can't come true. The jar fits what it will and there isn't anything to do about it except pull another jar from storage to hold the abundance, or grab a rag to clean up the mess. 
Humans, too, have a capacity.  I don't necessarily mean this in the same way I referenced with the jars, but I think we can Segway into understanding humans by first talking about filling us up as well. I know, when serving dinner to my family, how much each person generally eats.  They are served according to their history of capacity and if they have room for more, it's available to them.  We have four growing children and their capacity for dinner changes depending on several factors:  What dinner is, how filling other meals have been during the day, how much activity they've had, and there's always the possibility they are going through a growth spurt or simply not feeling their best.  All of these factors change how much they eat, but each person generally has a standard capacity that makes adequately filling their plates pretty predictable. I do know that my husband has the ability to eat three times what our seven year old can, and this makes sense!  Each individual has vastly different volume needs based on several factors that really, are out of their control.  This is easy to understand, and much like the quart jar vs the half-pint we don't expect anything different.  So let's move onto a different type of human capacity that is not as simple to define. 
I have a dear friend that I am fortunate to get to spend face-to-face time with weekly.  She is Amish and her name is Elsie. Elsie has been Amish and has farmed her whole life (she's in her 40's), but still like all of us there are things that she does not know when it comes to growing and preserving a garden.  A couple of years ago an Amish "circle letter" (think chain letter/email but way more personal) went around discussing how to plant luffa.  The letter came with a small packet of seeds and instructions on how to start the seeds indoors and make sure to plant out after frost and give them a strong trellis. A copy of this letter and a few seeds were given to me and we planted luffa alongside our friends.  
 
If you've never grown luffa sponge before they are a lot like those stories you hear about zucchini (from places where squash bugs do not exist):  before you know it every bucket on the premises is filled to the brim, all neighbor's porches are overflowing with the excess and even the pig is turning up her nose because there are zucchini everywhere!!   That's luffa in our case. We planted just two luffa plants this year and have gotten well over 100 luffa sponges. One hundred 18-inch long sponges, and there are still dozens out on the plants since frost still has not settled in the garden in late November!
Even small gardens can produce beyond the gardener's wildest dreams and it can be very overwhelming trying to make sure every last bit does not go to waste.  A lot of people have this quality about them and I don't think it's bad.  It's good to be mindful about what we have and make sure we steward things well. What I'd love to impress upon you, dear reader, is that none of this wildness would have existed without you and you need to steward YOU well too, and evaluate your capacity to manage abundance frequently. More on this later. 
The luffa seed exchange between friends happened two summers ago.  My friend Elsie just told me this year, our second year growing luffa, that last year their luffa plants also grew incredibly well.  Unfortunately when it came time to put broccoli and cabbage into the hothouse and cycle out the luffa, nobody in the immediate community knew how to process the luffa into sponges while still green, so they had to throw all of it out (into the compost) to make space for fall plants. This wasn't something she was proud to tell me and I could see the sense of failure on her face as she spoke.  I reassured her that green luffa can be processed into a usable sponge quite simply and the next week I brought some of our excess luffa to show her how.

Knowing how to process green luffa is great and all but what can one feasibly do with 100 huge sponges? What if I don't want to process 100 luffa?  The answer to this greatly depends on your personal capacity.  The funny thing about humans and our capacity is that it fluctuates depending on several factors.  Our metaphorical walls of capacity flex, bend, contract and adapt with life unlike the rigid walls of a canning jar.  Having said that, no two people have the same level of capacity at any given moment. Even if these two people have very similar lives regarding their age, responsibilities and obligations, personal interests etc... Some people are simply able to manage more mentally and emotionally, and some are able to manage less.  Knowing this can be very empowering, but it's important to stay in check and aim to stay under the maximum threshold so it's possible to function in life in a joyfully productive way. Similar to the walls of the canning jar humans do have a maximum capacity and our walls are fragile and can break.  And sometimes you have tons of luffa. Here are some options:
 
Ways to use excess luffa:
→ Eat them when they are small (5"- 6" or less, before they develop their fibers. They taste a lot like green beans and are nice raw, or pan-fried.)
→ Give them away finished or green/crispy and brown for others to process on their own
→ Sell finished sponges
→ Compost them intentionally
→ Leave them in the garden to hang in shame all winter and give them a proper burial in the beds when amending in spring.
(I am being serious but also somewhat sarcastic in the last tip, humor me for a second!)
 
Personally, I have done all of the above options. All are equally amazing ways to use up the abundance that you've had a very important hand in facilitating the existence of.  Because you asked it to grow, there can be this tug to make sure you do "right" by the harvest. When I am faced with a particular task and I'm assessing my own personal capacity at that given moment I usually base my future actions on my level of dread: How much can I do and NOT resent the whole thing?  I did this to myself after all, what do I really want to do here in order to feel good about it and keep loving the way we have chosen to live?  I know a lot of people would not feel good about the last option up there, but you know what? That is exactly where I am at with my luffa at this exact moment.  I have eaten some, given some away, sold some, thrown some excess sponges into a bed I'm trying to fill up, fed seeds to the chickens, and I'm just done. I am going to allow the remaining luffa to be consumed by the frost (when it comes) and I'm going to let them hang, but not in shame.  

When I look out into my garden this winter and see those dry, dead luffa I won't be reminded of my "failure".  I will be reminded of the incredible bounty my farm produced with assistance and intention from me, the gardener.   It is an immense blessing to have more than what is immediately needed.  I think what is often misunderstood is what those spent, dead plants can give back to the literal ground they thrived so well in, and the value in using the excess to feed back into the system.  When excess luffa is placed back into the garden there are nutrients there that bring life to the soil to feed the worms and microbes and help build soil structure. Luffa is actually excellent put back into the garden, as it acts a lot like peat or coco coir with it's moisture retention capabilities, without the environmental impact or price tag.  You grew it, use it! You can even be "lazy" about it like me and that incredible abundance still finds a way to give back if you let it. 
My plan for my excess luffa is to (eventually) place them in the bed and cover them with manure from the barn.  By doing this I am closing the nutrient loop and helping our farm be more self-sustaining by relying far less on outside inputs. The luffa will break down and provide nutrients like described above, and return to us in a new form next year.  It's actually incredible and very gracious if you think about it.   It's like a neat way to hit "pause" and revisit the nutrients at a later date when I may have the capacity to do something different with them. Did you grow something you or your family ended up disliking? Do not force yourself to spend energy preserving it.  Nutrition sitting on the shelf not being eaten because nobody likes it is not doing any good when it could be cycled back into the system creating something you really enjoy. Give yourself this grace. This is where the capacity for more comes from.
I'd like to leave you with a little bit of an analogy. Humans are not like canning jars as I've mentioned but our capacity does have a tipping point just like the jar has a rim where its walls and capacity end.  If you are a canner you are familiar with the concept of headspace. Headspace is a gap of air space between the lip of the canning jar and the food within, this gap allows for the jar to seal well during the canning process.  If headspace is not allowed the contents of the jar will boil over onto the rim preventing a seal and the contents of the jar will spoil if not reprocessed with proper headspace. When you establish the capacity you have for something, remember not to run at peak capacity 24/7. It's not good for you. Give yourself some wiggle room so you can preserve yourself and continue to benefit those around you.
♥

**Fall 2025 Update, these Luffa volunteered back this garden season and blessed us with dozens more gourds.  Every year my garden never ceases to amaze me as it extends it's grace:  a perfect mirror of the Creator of it all.**